Sometimes at work we can be quick to label things as “problems.”
- The workload is too high.
- Leadership isn’t clear.
- A colleague is difficult.
- The timeline is unrealistic.
Most situations aren’t just problems. They’re a mix of two things:
Constraints and Choices.
- Constraints are what you don’t control
- Choices are what you do
It’s easy to blur the line between them, which can create a lot of frustration.
A Better Question to Ask
Try Asking: “What part of this situation is a constraint and what part is a choice?” Because:
- If it’s within your control → it’s a choice
- If it’s outside your control → it’s a constraint to navigate
When everything feels like a problem, you feel stuck. When you identify a choice, you regain movement.
The Constraint vs. Choice Filter
When something feels off at work, run it through this process:
- Define the issue clearly. Vague problems create unnecessary stress.
Instead of “This project is a mess,” try: “The scope keeps changing and I don’t have clear priorities.” - Is this within my direct control?
- Yes → You have a choice to make
- No → Move to the next question
- Can I influence it?
Through a conversation, escalation, or collaboration?- Yes → Have I actually tried?
- No → This is a constraint
- If it’s a choice, what action am I avoiding?
- A conversation you don’t want to have
- A boundary you haven’t set
- A decision you’ve delayed
- A behavior you haven’t changed
- If it’s a constraint, how do I navigate it?
- Not everything can be changed, it can be:
- Planned around
- Mitigated
- Accepted (strategically, not passively)
Where This Shows Up at Work
“Leadership isn’t communicating clearly.”
- Constraint: You don’t control leadership style
- Choice: You can ask for clarity, summarize decisions, or create structure for your team
“I don’t have enough time.”
- Constraint: Volume of work
- Choice: Prioritization, saying no, renegotiating deadlines, or resetting expectations
“My colleague is difficult.”
- Constraint: Their personality or behavior
- Choice: Address it directly, adjust how you engage, or escalate if needed
“This deadline is unrealistic.”
- Constraint: The timeline itself
- Choice: Raise the risk early, propose alternatives, or document trade-offs
The Pattern to Watch
People often get stuck in one of two places:
- Treating constraints like choices
Trying to control things they can’t → leads to frustration and burnout - Treating choices like constraints
Avoiding action by labeling it “out of my control” → leads to stagnation
A More Direct Way to Navigate
When you feel stuck, ask yourself:
- What am I calling a problem that is actually a decision?
- What action am I avoiding?
- What conversation have I not had yet?
- If I had to take one step this week, what would it be?
Identify one piece that’s actually yours to move. There is almost always a choice somewhere in the system. That’s where your leverage is.
Clarity removes the feeling of being stuck.
Quick Worksheet: Constraint or Choice?
Use this the next time something feels frustrating at work:
- What is the situation?
(Write it clearly and specifically) - What parts are constraints (not in my control)?
- What parts are choices (within my control)?
- What can I influence, but haven’t acted on yet?
- What is one action I can take this week?
(Be specific and realistic) - If nothing changes, what will I choose to do anyway?
(This is where ownership becomes clear)
Additional Reading:
- Collective Illusions by Todd Rose
- Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us
- The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth
- Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong
- Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong
- The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life
- Leaders Eat Last
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