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During conversations if I feel the person I’m talking with is automatically in debate mode, I get defensive. This can be a major derailer. If we look at one aspect of communication we know, “An effective communication occurs only if the receiver understands the message in exactly the same way as it was intended by the sender.” I would add that we must be aware enough to understand our own defense mechanisms, otherwise we may miss the chance to understand the sender’s intent and miss out on connecting with her. We thwart excellent communication by adding noise from the inside out.
-Aya