Today I want to remind anyone who has or is going through a painful time. You are loved, you are not alone, and healing happens. Each of us suffers. We all have something that hurts our soul, messes with our mind, and threatens to change our core if we let it. The choice is ours. … Continue reading Unless I Have Already Saved Myself
affairs
Truth Tellin’
I realized many things about myself during these affairs. One that struck me during the second round was that I have some sort of world view that eventually everyone will tell the truth. It was an interesting experience to realize that I had that belief even in the face of evidence quite to the contrary. Here … Continue reading Truth Tellin’
You Can’t Prove It
It might seem strange that I tried to call them before knowing who was having an affair with him. I wanted to figure it out. You see, the "first" affair which I put in quotes here to let you know that I understand that this occurrence could just be the "first" I knew of in … Continue reading You Can’t Prove It
Forwarded the email
Some of you will recognize the error of some of my actions and choices way before I finish the story, but what did I do after I saw the strange email in my work inbox that morning? I called my husband and told him about it. I also responded. The man emailed me back very … Continue reading Forwarded the email
Sight of the Island
When I wrote in March 2015, I couldn't look forward and know with certainty where I would be today. Here goes. I never really did birthday parties for myself. Being sung to with cake all ablaze often brought feelings of anxiety for me, so if it could be avoided, I would. I mean all hanging out … Continue reading Sight of the Island
And yet, sometimes healing must happen alone
I let time lapse and not shared the middle of the story with you. Yet, here I am to say hope and healing are yours to have if you want, even if that means divorcing the person who had an affair/s and healing on your own. Trying must be a two sided coin, a joining … Continue reading And yet, sometimes healing must happen alone
There’s a lot of work involved
I'm going to keep it short because boy I could (and likely am already) rambling about this. I want to say. It's a lot of f'ing work to heal yourself, but it's worth it. It's worth learning who you are, what makes you happy (please note that I said what not who), how you want to live your life, what things are important to you? Keeping your mind open to answering these things can lead to interesting discoveries and new beginnings. Perhaps you will stay, perhaps you won't, but in the end you better make damn sure you are better for it anyway and I know you can.
I should have known
Growth. Spirit. It’s easy to forget that it takes work to grow. The tree has to reach underground to grow tall, just like we have to reach inside to allow ourselves to change. Be like water I used to tell myself. Adjust to the new things in life and be like water. Strong, able to carve valleys. Things will work out better than I can even imagine I would tell myself. In many ways they have, even though I should have known.
Ever heard of Imago?
What I like is that no matter what is happening in your marriage, if you can truly get to the patterns and understand what you are triggered by, this will help you grow as a person.