My heart is not in it today. I didn’t get enough sleep or for whatever reason, blah. That feeling of trying to get or to keep going. Think of trying to push a stalled car. At first, it takes a lot of effort if we have to push it with no power behind the gas pedal. Let’s talk about ways you can get yourself going or keep yourself going. Stopping, means more effort to get going again for something that stalled out. Knowing how to start AND how to keep going are both important to utilize your power. Let’s look at how to keep going when you want to quit.

I get to

One technique you can try is using that saying we’ve all heard about “getting” to do things instead of “having” to do things. This is the one where you replace “I have to” with “I get to” in your mind. It might seem like semantics, and it is. It can work. I get to exercise, I get to clean a house (because I’m lucky enough to live in a house and have things to clean). I get to take care of my kids because they are healthy and here with me. Etc. Try that technique to help yourself reframe things you don’t feel like doing. See if just changing the words helps a teensy bit.

Talkin’ to myself – oh oh oh oh

A few years ago I jogged a 5k for the first time. I was inspired to challenge myself to complete two races a month for that year. I was 42, relatively fit sort of, (with extra jiggles here and there), an arthritic foot, and had never run a race before. There were times I had to ignore that my heart wasn’t in running for training or during a race. I tried using various techniques to get myself going. It took on variations depending on the situation. Sometimes my self-talk sounded like: “it only takes 30 min then you’re done”. Or “who cares what your time is – anyone can do anything for an hour. Just like you can do this for an hour”. Or “just get on the treadmill for five minutes” followed by “well it’s going well – keep going for 10”. I experimented with all of these self-talk methods when my heart wasn’t in it.

Only a few more songs.

At times I would tell myself “only x more songs”. I knew based on how many miles were left and my average pace about how many more songs I needed to hear before I would likely finish the race. There was a playlist I created where I put a song by Brittany Spears, Work B in the slot where if I finished during that song I would have an excellent time (for me). LOL. When it came on it was like, “oh damn ok…if I want to finish before X time I better get to it!” I don’t love that song, rather I was looking for a song to queue myself after so many minutes of running.

If you keep going you’ll be done sooner!

Another time none of that style of self-motivating was working. It was snowy, very cold, I was feeling cranky and I wanted to walk. Badly. I told myself “You know what? If you walk you’ll be in this damn cold longer! The faster you go the faster this is over with!” 

Awkward but it sort of works

There is some research that talking to yourself in third person works to motivate. I did it even though it felt awkward at first. It sounds like this “Amanda keeps going. She pushes through even though she wants to quit and walk!” “Look at Amanda finishing this race”. This is another one to try in the arsenal of keep it rolling mental techniques.

Visualization

One more thing we could talk about when your desire to do doesn’t match your need to do, is to use the end image you have in mind to get you going. Visualization. I use it a lot. I’ll stick with the running theme here because it makes sense, but as you’ll read – I use it all over the place. When running some races, I purposefully tried to look at the finish line before the race. In this way when my “give a flying five k” of effort waned, I could imagine myself at the finish line happy with a certain time on the clock. While I still “felt” crappy in the moments I wanted to slow down, it distracted me enough to keep me going. Enough so I could move on to one of the other thinking methods to keep going lol. Can you imagine how annoying a voice player of my thoughts during a race could be to someone?’ Ha. Maybe I’ll reframe that and say instead can you imagine how funny it could be? And then maybe even – gasp – helpful!? *Oh and PS – did you notice the idea about feeling crappy during a race or thinking I wanted to quit? My feelings might have been valid, but it was ONLY my thinking that caused those feelings- and we are back to the idea that all thoughts and feelings aren’t necessarily “true”. )  

Habit helpers

Your heart not being in it can also be helped by a huge number of habit helpers. There are so many great books out there on the topic of habits. One of my favs is: Atomic Habits This is a meaty habits book. One where you can immediately start using the tools and go back to them later for new perspectives. James Clear also has an excellent email list. You can find links to sign up for it on his site.

Think of that stalled out heavy car someone is trying to push. The initial push to get it going requires the most effort. Once it’s going; the car rolls much more smoothly. Help yourself by focusing on ways to make that first push feel more like pushing the gas petal than pushing the car. 

What ways do you get yourself going?